Crazy Status

Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced……

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police……

Make love… not war. Hell… do both. Get married……

My wife said I am too immature and if I do not grow up it is going to erect a barrier between us……

Once you learn to accept things, then you learn to get over them……..

I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable……

I hate dealing with people with split personalities…..

Don’t gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold……

Roses are Red Violets are Blue… I’m counting the days when I can finally see U…….

When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message or calls, Becomes the enemy …..

Group projects makes me understand why batman prefers to work alone……

Keep me in your heart and not in your mind, bcoz I’m MIND-BLOWING…..

I wanna be nice but some people are so annoying……

For me studying is like S-singing T-tweeting U-unlimited chatting D-dreaming Y-yawning…..

Dont waste your time by reading my whatsapp status…..

My dogs wont prefer to piss on you..they have a class…..

Once a cheater always a repeater……..

FACT: Every piece of plastic ever made still exists. Say no to Plastic……

The most career destroying line for Indian guys.. Bhaaaaai.. Tujhe Dekh rahi hai…….

OH MY GOD my computer just farted……May be its my friend sitting with me not me…..

Don’t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy woman’s pudding!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON…..

Some people say I’m really messed up.. I don’t see what they’re- omg! a feather …..

Have you ever started laughing for no reason, then started laughing even harder because you were laughing for no reason…..

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn’t want to own one…..

Work hard all week?.just.. to put beer on the table……

Don’t call me crazy. I much prefer the term “mentally hilarious…..

I’m not crazy, I’m just special…..

If I had a dollar for every time I was told I’m crazy, I’d be pretty darn rich……..

My teacher wear sun glasses when she teachs me bcoz I am a bright student …..

People are surprised with sudden rains. Relax guys,Rajnikant is testing his pichkari……..

Its cute when ur crush’s crush is uuh …..

My life, my rules…..

I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them…….

I m soo poor…..I can’t even pay attention…..

Waiting for “Ache Din”…..

The depth of ones first love, shows the depth of ones foolishness………

Act crazy, don’t regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up…..

After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful……

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else……

I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card…..

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice…..

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run……

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones……

Someday short people are gonna unite and take over the world……

if your dog barks nd ememies laugh take it serious…..

People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important……

Good actors make good liars but good liars make great actors……

Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious……

Hello ! I am using Facebook…..

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back……

No, please don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them……

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery……

Parachute for sale, used once, never opened…..

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying……

I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it…..

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it……

The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth……

I sometimes watch birds and wonder “If I could fly who would I shit on…..

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back……

Copycats are cheats lacking creativity……

I will kill you with my awesomeness……..

Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes… it takes three or four people to pull us apart……

Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced……

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police……

Make love… not war. Hell… do both. Get married……

My wife said I am too immature and if I do not grow up it is going to erect a barrier between us……

Call the police!! I just saw a crazy person in my mirror…..

I think it takes a little bit of crazy to make a difference in this world……

When people say, expect the unexpected Slap them around the face and say ‘did you expect that’ …..

Single doesn’ t Always mean Available…..

Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed…..

Nothing is lost until mom can’t find it……

Totally available!! Please disturb me…….

If my ship ever did come in, with my luck, I’m pretty sure it would be named the Titanic…..

I’ve been having so much bad luck lately that if I bought a scratch off lottery ticket it would probably tell me I OWED money…..

reason for boots being called “shit kickers;” cuz if you mess with MY man I will take my boot, and kick the shit outta you…..

Its not called staring when your looking back at me!

That awkward moment when the awkward moment get even more awkward…..

I’m so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me…..

You know my name not my story. So don’t assume…a damned thing…..

silence doesn’t always mean you’re mad… sometimes it just means you have nothing to say……

Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why…..

Some people just absolutely amaze me and some people are just absolutely amazing……..

Some days chocolate will do it, but on days like today…Captain and Coke is the only solution…..

It’s amazing what a little tequila can do……

Peace makes the world go around. Alcohol makes it spin like fuck…..

Dear Liver, I apologize for what I did to you last night, but I sincerely hope you are ready for round two…..

Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit……

If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece…. don’t eat it…. It’s probably poison……

In an interview… I can multitask housework with facebook……

I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming…CUT… CUT… CUUUUUT… when they have nightmares……

Oh I am sorry… I didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look?I just thought you were ugly like that all the time……

Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant……

Alcohol does not make you fat?it makes you lean?against tables…chairs…walls… floors and Ugly people……

I’m still waiting for the wisdom that supposedly comes with age……

I will never be over the hill, cos am too dam tired to climb it……

look at my cup of care. \_/ oh crap. its empty. oh well. better luck next time…..

I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I’ve got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory……

When I’m good, I’m very good and when I’m bad, I’m sensationa…..

i have that kinda love that when i say “fuck you” she looks at me & grins & says “i did that last night…..

Stand up and accept the consequences for your actions. You’re an adult. Act like one……

How do you know when you have old man balls? When you sit on the toilet and you can tell what the water temp. is……

the best one night stand is masturbation…you get to play with p#%^y and don’t have explain why later…lol…..

Show me an addict and I’ll show you someone who stands behind them keeping them sick……