Funniest Status
- Funniest Enjoy your life–there’s is plenty of time to be dead.
- I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it.
- Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.
- I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
- All my life a thought air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips.
- If people are talking behind your back, that’s a good time to fart.
- Silent people have the craziest minds.
- Rules are made to be broken.
- If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- Even fools seem smart when they are quiet.
- Take my advice — I’m not using it.
- I need 6 months’ vacation, twice a year.
Funniest Status In English
- The most important Shareholder in your life is you.
- Marriage means silent suicide.
- I am not stubborn, I am just always right.
- Life is short smile while you still have teeth.
- Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I’m your regular customer.
- Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
- If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
- I like when you smile, but I love it when I’m the reason.
- Hey, I’ll be back in five minutes. If I’m not, just read this message again.
- Great power comes with great electricity bills.
- I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
- If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.
- It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
- I’m too shy at first but once I’m comfortable with you, get ready for some crazy shit.
- The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Funniest Status for WhatsApp
- Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
- A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.
- Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
- 80% of boys have a girlfriend and rest have a brain.
- Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.
- Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
- My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.
- If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now.
- I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Is it vodka o’clock yet.
- Marriage is the main cause of divorce.
- Do you still hate me? I don’t care.
- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Be nice to nerds, they will be your boss one day.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.
Funniest Status for Facebook
- You smell like hidden motives, get away from me.
- If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
- Of course I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice.
- The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
- My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
- Stop thinking too much, it’s all right not to know all the answers.
- If you smile when no one is around, you really mean it.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools.
- When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.
Funniest Status for Instagram
- I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
- Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.
- Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
- Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
- Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
- People said to follow your dreams so I went back to bed.
- Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
- Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
- On the internet you can be anything you want, it’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
- Life is onetime offers use it well.
- I’m cool but global warming made me hot.
- I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.
Funniest Status In English, Funniest Status for WhatsApp, Funniest Status for Facebook, Funniest Status for Instagram