Clever Status

Clever Status

• If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big…….
• Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours…….
• Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop…….
• Life and I are like Tom and Jerry. I am Tom…….
• Life is a one time offer, use it well…….
• The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits…….
• My laziness is like 8, when I lie down it becomes infinity…….
• If nobody loves you, then you are doing something wrong……
• What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife…….
• If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out…….
• If I die tomorrow, will you remember me……
• All man are not fools, some stay bachelors……
• A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on…….
• You can kill your attraction to anyone by watching them chwe……..
• If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends……
• My Friend ask me, How is your life? I said she is fine…….
• Life treats me like the dumb wife who never gets a choice…….
• I’m a gift to my life. It uses me for amusement…….
• I’m not a virgin, my life fucks me every day…….
• It’s Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You…….
• I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks – I’m outstanding…….
• I can drive you crazy without a driving license…….
• I can make your GF scream louder than you can. – Spider……
• My first name and your last name, together make sound great……
• Take my advice, I’m not using it……
• If you work as security at Samsung store, does that make you guardian of galaxies……
• Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both…….
• I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes…….
• Life is too short to worry about matching socks…….
• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes…….
• I love sleep because it’s like a time machine for breakfast…….
• Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight…….
• My mother never realized the irony in calling me Son of a bitch…….
• Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong…….
• I don’t hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning…….
• Crazy people love crazy people cause normal people don’t understand…….
• If you’re good at something, never do it for free…….
• I might as well call you Google Because you have everything that I am looking for………
• I stepped on a cornflake today! So I am a cereal killer now…….
• The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese…….