Witty Status in English

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Witty Status

Witty-Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
My wife dresses to kill she cooks the same way.
The only power you have is the word ‘No.
Mirrors can’t talk lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried but they wanted cash.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel if there isn’t it’s not a tunnel.
I’m not sarcastic I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.
A lie will make it around the world before the truth has time to put on it’s shoes.
When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message Or calling Becomes the enemy.
I used to have superpowers But a therapist took them away.

People have become very naughty on whatsapp Even married women have put their status as AVAILABLE.
Whatsapp users never die they just go offline.
Just finished blocking some numbers on whatsapp if you can read this then you got lucky.
When I drink alcohol Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But When I drink Fanta. No one says I’m fantastic.
A Good Date ends with Dinner. An Awesome Date ends with Breakfast.
I know life is a race But now I am in practice mode.
Hello madam do you want Credit Card Girl No thanks I have a Boyfriend.
Energizer Bunny arrested charged with battery.
A relationship is made for two but some bitches are bad in math.
Love is like fart. If you force it It’s probably shit.

There are three kinds of people in this world Those who can count And those who can’t.
Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed Is only because of the shampoo.
In order for you to insult me I would first have to value your opinion.
You can love me hate me or masturbate screaming my name it’s the thought that count.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Zombies are looking for brain don’t worry you’re safe.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.
Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.
If Relationship between man and women were shoes I’d wear you out. But I wouldn’t wear you out in public.
Dear men life without women would literally a pain in ass.
Changed my iPhone name to titanic it’s syncing now.

Graduation The process changing one’s status from Student to Unemployed.
If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving is probably not for you.
The Facebook is Going to Start Charging you Unless you Copy and Paste This Legal Notice.
Why is Facebook going public They couldn’t figure out the privacy settings either.
Everybody has a box somewhere with some weird shit in it.
Here I got another fool reading this.
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.
A true friend is somebody who can make us do what we can.
Friendship is like money easier made than kept.

Witty Status In English, Witty Status for WhatsApp, Witty Status for Facebook, Witty Status for Instagram

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