Funny Status

Funny Status
Funny Status

Funny Status

  • My six pack is precious – protected by a layer of fat…..
  • If we get caught, I don’t know you…..
  • Hey Monday. I really hate you…..
  • My room might seem messy but I know where everything is…..
  • A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad…..
  • I hate Mondays more than I hate Mondays…..
  • I’M Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding…..
  • Buying chips nowadays means you’re effectively paying for air…..
  • Math: Mental Abuse To Humans…..
  • My WiFi signal is stronger than me…..
  • Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping….
  • Our teacher spoke for an hour about not wasting time…..
  • Billions of people on this planet and I am still single…..
  • Too funny to be legal…..
  • Please don’t eat the pet…..
  • If you want to see someone’s true nature, make them use a computer with slow internet…..
  • Hey there! I’m using my brain…..
  • Using half my brain…..
  • Only using a couple of brain cells…..
  • This conversation doesn’t require me to use my brains…..
  • Today I’m on airplane mode. Do not disturb…..
  • The toilet is the most peaceful place in my house…..
  • Never take your ex back. Do you go to the junkyard to pick up stuff you threw away….
  • Never laugh at your wife’s choices.You are one of them…..
  • Funny by nature, funny by default…..
  • I can’t remember what I said 5 minutes ago…..
  • Sorry about the drunken texts. My phone was hammered…..
  • If a bird hits your windshield, is it angry birds….
  • I have a plastic bag full of plastic bags at home…..
  • I try working out everyday but pancakes are just too delicious…..
  • Will sell my soul for waffles…..
  • My parents are like Google. They interrupt before I can complete a sentence…..
  • Warning- I know kung-fu and other dangerous words…..
  • You are only as good looking as your photoshop trial…..
  • Vegetarians are not allowed…..
  • 6 packs coming soon…..
  • WhatsApp free hai, main Nahi…..
  • If you throw an old Nokia phone at someone, you can give them a concussion…..
  • Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you…..
  • If someone hates you for nothing, give them something…..
  • I am attractive only to bugs…..
  • Decided to burn calories today so I torched a fat kid…..
  • I love you more than I love cake…..
  • Google must be female – she knows everything…..
  • If you love someone, set them free. If they return, set them on fire…..
  • My life is one big LOL…..
  • Not always available, try your luck…..
  • Did Luis Suarez bite the Apple logo….
  • You can do anything but not everything…..
  • Food is my dude…..
  • Please don’t ask me to find the value of X. I’m trying to let go…..
  • Phone on airplane mode but still can’t fly…..
  • Oh! Game over and you lost me…..
  • Waiting for “Ache Din”….
  • Hey there WHATSAPP is using me…..
  • In a relationship with academics, it’s complicated…..
  • Teamwork matters, but I matter more…..
  • If a girl looks pretty in her Aadhaar card, marry her…..
  • Don’t commit the same mistakes. Make new ones…..
  • People say love is important, but so is oxygen…..
  • Don’t lie. Edit the truth…..
  • You call it cheating, for me it’s teamwork…..
  • Life is beautiful. from Friday to Monday…..
  • Installing love… 44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first…..
  • In high school I attended my favourite subjects, lunch, and recess…..
  • I text, but may not reply…..
  • Profile under construction…..
  • I’m not crazy this is how I am…..
  • Today everyone’s addicted to a drug called social media…..
  • Made a list not to forget anything then forgot where I put the list…..
  • My brain freezes when it’s exam time…..
  • Don’t drink and drive, smoke and fly….
  • My idea of solving a problem is eating it, drinking it or letting it go…..
  • Dazed and confused…..
  • Stealing the neighbour’s WiFi…..
  • Born to be wild…..
  • Twinkle twinkle little star…can you show me the nearest bar….
  • It’s sad that stupidity is not a crime…..
  • Don’t try too hard, you look like a monkey…..
  • STUPID = Superbly Talented Unique Person In Demand…..
  • I ain’t lazy, I’m saving energy…..
  • Dear brother from another mother…..
  • Not all men are fools. Some stay single. …..
  • It’s useless to try too hard…..
  • If you talk to the wall on Facebook you’re not insane…..
  • Drinking doesn’t solve anything…..
  • Final exams are anxiety-inducing…..
  • Funnier than the funniest person…..
  • Funny by nature…..
  • Don’t stop dreaming. Keep sleeping…..
  • I wish stress burned calories. I would have been a model…..
  • Be Warned: I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous…..
  • Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers…..
  • Please god, give me a thin waistline and a fat bank account, not the other way around…..
  • Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower…..
  • With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill…..
  • Lazy Rule: Can’T Reach It. Don’t Need It…..
  • I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days…..
  • Dear Karma – here’s a bunch of people you missed…..
  • A pissed off female is the fastest texter…..
  • I Can’T Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me….
  • Interrupt My Sleep & I’Ll Interrupt Your Breathing…..
  • Be Warned: I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous…..
  • Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You…..
  • Behind every great man is an angry woman…..
  • I am a supermodel. My home is my runway…..
  • Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth…..
  • I am not to be approached before I’ve had my morning coffee…..
  • When Life Gives You Lemons, break out the tequila…..
  • I Am Brilliant Brunette With lots of blonde moments…..
  • I’m not avoiding work. I’m just on battery saver mode….
  • I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine…..
  • I’ll be back in 2 minutes. If I am not, read this message again…..
  • I wanted to take over the world – but I overslept…..
  • I hate my job more than I hate Mondays…..
  • I hate people who use big words to appear fancy…..
  • Earlier, I would go out and make excuses at home. Now the opposite happens…..
  • I want to die on my own terms – in a club with a beer in my hand…..
  • If you can’t convince them, confuse them…..
  • Don’t call me cute when I’m mad…..
  • Can you mute people in real life….
  • Even a prison sentence is less painful than a Monday…..
  • Too tired to give a rat’s ass…..
  • My phone can’t swim – or so it tried…..
  • Money runs away from me – and I run away to the mall…..
  • My brain switches on only after I’ve had my coffee…..
  • God really made me during one of his creative periods…..
  • My life is a joke…..
  • This life is a joke…..
  • You want to hear a joke about unemployed people? None of them work…..
  • Limited edition here…..
  • Please don’t speak to me before I’ve had my coffee…….
  • Funny by nature…..
  • Funny, that’s all that matters…..
  • Funny by nature…..
  • Naturally funny…..
  • Funny, that’s all that matters…..
  • Funny a.f….
  • I was born intelligent, education ruined me…..
  • Life is short, don’t be too serious…..
  • Life is too short to be serious…..
  • Delete your chats. Forget your past…..
  • Hey there, I’m using my parents….
  • Who says men don’t have feelings? We feel hungry…..
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