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Funny Status
Funny Status
My six pack is precious – protected by a layer of fat…..
If we get caught, I don’t know you…..
Hey Monday. I really hate you…..
My room might seem messy but I know where everything is…..
A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad…..
I hate Mondays more than I hate Mondays…..
I’M Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding…..
Buying chips nowadays means you’re effectively paying for air…..
Math: Mental Abuse To Humans…..
My WiFi signal is stronger than me…..
Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping….
Our teacher spoke for an hour about not wasting time…..
Billions of people on this planet and I am still single…..
Too funny to be legal…..
Please don’t eat the pet…..
If you want to see someone’s true nature, make them use a computer with slow internet…..
Hey there! I’m using my brain…..
Using half my brain…..
Only using a couple of brain cells…..
This conversation doesn’t require me to use my brains…..
Today I’m on airplane mode. Do not disturb…..
The toilet is the most peaceful place in my house…..
Never take your ex back. Do you go to the junkyard to pick up stuff you threw away….
Never laugh at your wife’s choices.You are one of them…..
Funny by nature, funny by default…..
I can’t remember what I said 5 minutes ago…..
Sorry about the drunken texts. My phone was hammered…..
If a bird hits your windshield, is it angry birds….
I have a plastic bag full of plastic bags at home…..
I try working out everyday but pancakes are just too delicious…..
Will sell my soul for waffles…..
My parents are like Google. They interrupt before I can complete a sentence…..
Warning- I know kung-fu and other dangerous words…..
You are only as good looking as your photoshop trial…..
Vegetarians are not allowed…..
6 packs coming soon…..
WhatsApp free hai, main Nahi…..
If you throw an old Nokia phone at someone, you can give them a concussion…..
Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you…..
If someone hates you for nothing, give them something…..
I am attractive only to bugs…..
Decided to burn calories today so I torched a fat kid…..
I love you more than I love cake…..
Google must be female – she knows everything…..
If you love someone, set them free. If they return, set them on fire…..
My life is one big LOL…..
Not always available, try your luck…..
Did Luis Suarez bite the Apple logo….
You can do anything but not everything…..
Food is my dude…..
Please don’t ask me to find the value of X. I’m trying to let go…..
Phone on airplane mode but still can’t fly…..
Oh! Game over and you lost me…..
Waiting for “Ache Din”….
Hey there WHATSAPP is using me…..
In a relationship with academics, it’s complicated…..
Teamwork matters, but I matter more…..
If a girl looks pretty in her Aadhaar card, marry her…..
Don’t commit the same mistakes. Make new ones…..
People say love is important, but so is oxygen…..
Don’t lie. Edit the truth…..
You call it cheating, for me it’s teamwork…..
Life is beautiful. from Friday to Monday…..
Installing love… 44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first…..
In high school I attended my favourite subjects, lunch, and recess…..
I text, but may not reply…..
Profile under construction…..
I’m not crazy this is how I am…..
Today everyone’s addicted to a drug called social media…..
Made a list not to forget anything then forgot where I put the list…..
My brain freezes when it’s exam time…..
Don’t drink and drive, smoke and fly….
My idea of solving a problem is eating it, drinking it or letting it go…..
Dazed and confused…..
Stealing the neighbour’s WiFi…..
Born to be wild…..
Twinkle twinkle little star…can you show me the nearest bar….
It’s sad that stupidity is not a crime…..
Don’t try too hard, you look like a monkey…..
STUPID = Superbly Talented Unique Person In Demand…..
I ain’t lazy, I’m saving energy…..
Dear brother from another mother…..
Not all men are fools. Some stay single. …..
It’s useless to try too hard…..
If you talk to the wall on Facebook you’re not insane…..
Drinking doesn’t solve anything…..
Final exams are anxiety-inducing…..
Funnier than the funniest person…..
Funny by nature…..
Don’t stop dreaming. Keep sleeping…..
I wish stress burned calories. I would have been a model…..
Be Warned: I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous…..
Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers…..
Please god, give me a thin waistline and a fat bank account, not the other way around…..
Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower…..
With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill…..
Lazy Rule: Can’T Reach It. Don’t Need It…..
I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days…..
Dear Karma – here’s a bunch of people you missed…..
A pissed off female is the fastest texter…..
I Can’T Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me….
Interrupt My Sleep & I’Ll Interrupt Your Breathing…..
Be Warned: I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous…..
Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You…..
Behind every great man is an angry woman…..
I am a supermodel. My home is my runway…..
Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth…..
I am not to be approached before I’ve had my morning coffee…..
When Life Gives You Lemons, break out the tequila…..
I Am Brilliant Brunette With lots of blonde moments…..
I’m not avoiding work. I’m just on battery saver mode….
I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine…..
I’ll be back in 2 minutes. If I am not, read this message again…..
I wanted to take over the world – but I overslept…..
I hate my job more than I hate Mondays…..
I hate people who use big words to appear fancy…..
Earlier, I would go out and make excuses at home. Now the opposite happens…..
I want to die on my own terms – in a club with a beer in my hand…..
If you can’t convince them, confuse them…..
Don’t call me cute when I’m mad…..
Can you mute people in real life….
Even a prison sentence is less painful than a Monday…..
Too tired to give a rat’s ass…..
My phone can’t swim – or so it tried…..
Money runs away from me – and I run away to the mall…..
My brain switches on only after I’ve had my coffee…..
God really made me during one of his creative periods…..
My life is a joke…..
This life is a joke…..
You want to hear a joke about unemployed people? None of them work…..
Limited edition here…..
Please don’t speak to me before I’ve had my coffee…….
Funny by nature…..
Funny, that’s all that matters…..
Funny by nature…..
Naturally funny…..
Funny, that’s all that matters…..
Funny a.f….
I was born intelligent, education ruined me…..
Life is short, don’t be too serious…..
Life is too short to be serious…..
Delete your chats. Forget your past…..
Hey there, I’m using my parents….
Who says men don’t have feelings? We feel hungry…..